I struggle to find where this begins because God was preparing and providing for us years before we knew I had cancer.

I had the kind for which there is no screening, but by God’s mercy, it was discovered during a minor procedure at Stage III.

It was as if He’d spoken to the disease just as He spoke to the sea, saying, You can only come this far, because also by His mercy, all eight places were on removable organs I can live without.

I won’t try to detail here the many ways He went ahead of us—there’s so much more, it would take a book—but I’ve distilled the past year into seven things maybe you’d like to know.

 

1. God didn’t give me cancer.

The God I know is Love. He’s trustworthy, merciful, and His kindness cannot be exaggerated.

He’s able to redeem all that happens to us and use it for precious good, but I don’t know the god who gives people cancer.

Rumor has it his name is Satan.

Or perhaps his name is Greed, willing to poison our food and water for profit.

And can you imagine what would happen to our economy if cancer were suddenly cured? Look around… it’s quite lucrative, especially cancer “research.”

But I digress…

God didn’t give me cancer.

 

2. The Church is alive and well.

While I trembled with pain in a tiled hospital shower, a nurse who didn’t know me from anyone washed me with a warm cloth while murmuring, Bless your heart….

She wiped all the vile things from my body, endured my frailty, and somehow made me feel like the most special person in her life.

Me, a stranger.

Time stopped in that moment, and deep in the silent place of my heart I heard God say, This is Me. This is My love. This is My Bride.

That nurse’s kindness was God, showing me a mystery I only thought I understood.

God is Love.

I cried as His truth washed over me, cleansing the hurt. The poor nurse didn’t know what was happening, but I’ll never forget it.

God’s Beloved is elusive as the wind, but let me tell you, She is not a place.

She’s stunning, busy and humble; She’s everywhere and everything to everyone so that She might save us with His love.

 

3. Encouragement is life.

Thankfully, I’m married to an encourager, but as soon as we announced I was sick, souls launched testimonies like fireworks lighting the night with stories of loved ones who’d survived.

We clung to them for dear life.

Every card, every text, every visit matters.

Every friend becomes a life-raft.

There’s no way to over-emphasize the healing power of encouragement.

It is precisely the chilling reason the Suicide Prevention Assistance phone number is at the bottom of every correspondence received during treatment.

 

 

4. Things can always be worse.

Don’t ask how—that’s not wise.

And it may not seem like it, but grab a pen and start listing all you have to be thankful for, including everyone who loves you and all your still-functioning body parts.

Gratitude will rescue you.

Perspective works like good medicine.

 

5. We are surrounded by sick and hurting people.

I am newly, keenly aware that all around us at any given time are people who’ve just come from excruciating circumstances, unhooked from machines, just learned debilitating news, moments earlier shaved their own balding heads, snuck out for a few moments’ peace from being a caregiver, and on and on…

Everywhere we turn are souls so desperate to blend in, they’ll smile.

My family did.

When I was able, I could blend in fairly well under enough make-up and a wig, though I shook inside with exhaustion and nausea.

But I’ll tell you, some of the most important and powerful people on earth are running cash registers.

Perceptive cashiers’ compassion and patience blessed me to tears more than once.

 

6. Cancer didn’t cure me.

Initially I had the romantic notion my newfound perspective would cure my pettiness.

While I am wildly grateful for every healthy day and more awake within each moment, the petty things survived.

Steroids and chemo turned me into a bald woman who weighed an extra 18 pounds, and it bothered me—a lot.

But grace does truly abound, because when a woman gets her hair back, there’s no such thing as a “bad” hair day.

As for the extra pounds, a nurse told me the weight gain was life-saving during treatment to prevent something called wasting, so you can bet it’s gone on my thankful list.

 

7. Relationships are by Design.

All along, God had been aligning me with people He would use to save and encourage me.

Not just the kind of husband, family, and friends I ended up with (hugest grace of all), but a hairdresser, piano teacher, doctor, and countless others whose friendships made them center-stage players while I was sick.

I guarantee you there are people in your life right now whose worth you only think you grasp, or maybe even take for granted, who someday will glow with angelic countenance as you realize God put them in your life for a special reason you couldn’t have imagined.

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Mama summed up our year best this morning when she sighed into the phone, her voice smiling, If nothing else, we learned God will always be with us no matter what happens. He showed us He’ll stay with us and His love will carry us through.

If only a year ago when the word cancer chased tears down my mama’s cheeks we could’ve somehow heard her voice echo back through time, assuring us God would show up and His love would carry us through…

But it would’ve seemed empty, like a platitude, holding no meaning yet until time and again proved how He hemmed us in, behind and before, surrounding us with His love.

It holds meaning now.

There’s so much we don’t understand, but this one thing we’re absolutely sure of: Love never, ever fails.

 

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The Passion Translation

 

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NIV

 

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