I thought I’d be put to sleep when I arrived to have the heart-shaped box removed from my chest.

I’d wrapped my mind all around what to expect and looked forward to waking when it was over.

But as things progressed, I realized—as it was happening—I was going to be awake for the whole procedure.

I panicked a little.

Vulnerable, uncomfortable, and unable to see the needle, I heard the surgeon say, “You’ll feel a series of sticks but you’ll be glad I did this.”

In other words, This is going to hurt.

But just as he promised, I was so glad for those painful numbing shots because as he lifted the port out of my chest, all I felt was gentle tugging.

Having the chemotherapy port removed meant everything to me.

It meant it was finished, that every foreign thing was out of my body and I could finally, wholly heal.

~

This is forgiveness.

Only recently have I learned firsthand the spell power of forgiveness, and marveled that such a thing lies at the wielding of human free will.

Forgiveness is often the catalyst of healing, and unforgiveness is very often the root of unanswered prayers.

Just like the numbing shots, the most painful part is the choice to forgive.

It’s solely within our power whether to let God do His surgery, to lift out the things we don’t need anymore that are standing in the way of our answered prayers—all the kinds of healing we need.

We have to choose to surrender in His Presence, on His operating table, to let Him have our bitterness, those constant mental arguments, the need for closure, revenge, understanding, or control.

Letting go of the people who just the sound of their name wounds us again—that’s going to hurt.

Some of us don’t even know who we are or what we would think about if not for the constant background noise of that.

But once we surrender to the choice to forgive, that part is over.

God’s gentle tugging begins as He removes what unforgiveness has done to us—most of the time, what it’s done to our health and relationships.

And He graciously replaces it with His peace. It is a miracle.

But there’s more.

Forgiveness is deeper and far more powerful than achieving inner silence.

It’s a wrecking ball to the prayer barriers we can’t see.

~

I read a book written by a famous pastor’s wife who’d always had a hostile relationship with her stepdaughter. Ever since she’d entered the child’s life, no attempt to get along with her worked. It seemed the harder she tried, the worse the girl rebelled, even into adulthood.

But one day when a pastor from Africa visited her house, she confided in him how she resented the turmoil between her and her stepdaughter. She longed for peace in her family.

He nodded, deep with understanding, and told her of the power that could change her life.

He quoted Jesus, saying, Know this: whatever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you release on earth will be released in Heaven. (Matthew 18:18)

He told her if she sincerely wanted to see the relationship healed, to go to a quiet place where she could be alone with God. There, she should take out a sheet of paper and write down every grievance she held against the girl.

Hold nothing back, He insisted.

He said, “Write it all down. If she looked at you in a mean way when she was a child and you remember it, write it down. If she ignored you or screamed at you, write it down. Leave nothing out—Every time she hurt your feelings, offended you, embarrassed you, strained your marriage—all of it, write it down.”

So in her quiet time the woman got a single sheet of paper, ready to write, and asked the Lord to help her.

Surely this wouldn’t take long.

But soon she had filled the entire sheet of paper and needed another one.

And then another.

Three pages later, she realized how much she held against the girl, how much bitterness she carried. When she was satisfied she’d listed everything, she destroyed the list.

It was her way of saying, I surrender. I’m releasing this to you, God. If forgiveness releases the situation to Your healing, I choose to do that. I am no longer her judge.

In less than a week, her stepdaughter called her—something she rarely did—and was kind. She described a strange moment when was stepping into the shower when suddenly she paused, half in and half out. She said something inside her just…stopped. Something she couldn’t explain. And she didn’t feel angry anymore.

From that moment on, the relationship began to heal in ways that seemed impossible before.

~

My daughter, after hearing that Jesus spoke forgiveness over His torturers—over the whole world—called it in a whisper, holy magic.

Indeed it is.

No one receives true inner healing without forgiveness being applied full strength.

And then there are those sticky Scriptures that imply we’re in danger of becoming what we refuse to forgive.

I don’t want to be anything like those who’ve hurt me or my family. I want their effect on us off, out, gone, and thoroughly healed.

Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re holding an offense against the person we’re praying for. It may be someone we dearly love, but deep inside, a seed of resentment has anchored us in place. In His kindness, if we ask Him to, God will shine His light on the very thing, even if it’s long forgotten or seems insignificant.

That’s not always the reason for unanswered prayers, of course, but I’ve seen the power of forgiveness at work enough that it’s the first place I look.

Even though our perception of justice is infuriated by it and the thought of it presses salt into our rawest wounds, God has promised to help us.

Ask God for the courage to do it. He’ll show up.

~

---

 Watch over each other to make sure no one misses

the revelation of God’s grace.

And make sure no one lives with a root of bitterness^y]

sprouting within them which will only cause trouble

and poison the hearts of many.

~ Hebrews 12:15 TPT